I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
