We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm like, not good at living.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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