After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
