i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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