I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
