that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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