Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
