dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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