his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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