I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
