Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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