In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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