Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
