Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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