i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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