thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i came on her dog
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
