I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
