you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So much rum. So many feels.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize