I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
