I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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