OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
