i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
where are my eyebrows?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
