exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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