and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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