If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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