If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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