I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
COCAINE IS GR8
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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