Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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