he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
