is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We left the knife in your bed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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