that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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