it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
