So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
