Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
