You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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