How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
