I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My vagina is officially offended.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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