How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
