You can't motorboat a personality
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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