Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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