Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
