Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
