good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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