You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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