Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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