what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
