Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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