I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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