2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
