We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
