you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
