do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sober January is a disaster.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
