Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
