this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize