Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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