youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
