I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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