She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
