I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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