We're facebook friends in real life
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
