Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
