U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
