Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
