I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
